It's easy taking on mindfulness practice. It's another thing sitting day after day after day.
No one checking on you, no one encouraging, no immediate consequences one way or the other, there is only faith in the practice to sustain one's determination.
The faith in question is not blind. Rather, it is faith informed by one's prior experiences with practice, combined with acquired wisdom based on the teachings. It's a bit like embarking on a road, and finding out that the map is proving accurate. From that realization, trust in the directions develops. The much desired end point and the higher road to attain it are worth all the effort. The alternative, the samsara route, is not one I want to stay on. There's got to be a better way to be in this life . . . The awareness of the pervasiveness of suffering is the other reason I sit every morning. The mind needs to be put to rest, and the only way is through proper seeing, substituting, and letting go, all best done during quiet, attentive sitting.
What keeps you sitting, day after day after day?
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That if I can make it through that particularly restless moment when my mind is itching to get me up and moving out to do something.... some silly, non urgent something.... it will settle down and the experience of a special calm, a settled expansiveness of heart and mind will unfold. Ahhh. It's worth it!
ReplyDeletemy sangha keeps me sitting. i am the one who keeps the time and rings the bell, but a large part of why i show up is because THEY show up.
ReplyDeleteI don't think i am as disciplined as you, Marguerite, but there is something that keeps me going... i love your sentence "it;s a bit like embarking on a road, and finding out that the map is providing accurate". yes. this is how it feels for me.
ReplyDeleteI clearly feel the difference when i meditate/sit. I still can't believe it's that way, but I can no longer deny it. I am willing to tackle the challenges, the depths that i still have not discovered, the realization that it's actually less complicated than i think. I have found a therapist/teacher who is helping me learn and i am completely grateful to have "found" him. In one of our sessions I asked him if he could recommend a book i could read. He just looked at me and said "you don't need any books right now. All you need is just to sit."
Et voila! :)
Thank you for sharing your insightful thoughts and experiences...they really help too.
Michele
I love this, so eloquently put.
ReplyDeleteRemembering how far I've come - away from anxiety, away from the stress-head I was - keeps me sitting. I am thankful for the peace my pratcice has brought me so far, that is enough to encourage me to continue :)
It isn't easy though, reminders like this certainly help :)