By virtue of being human, each one of us is on intimate terms with not being present. Because of this, our intimacy with this felt absence is a powerful ally. This is the terrain of mindfulness practice. Each time that we awaken to no longer being present to ourselves is, paradoxically, a moment of presence. if we are willing to see the whole of our lives as practice, our awareness of the moments that we are not present, coupled with our intention to awaken, brings us into the present.
Each time I used to catch myself, having being 'lost' in yet another train of thoughts, disappointed mind would jump in, quick with judgement. Oh! no, not again, where is my vow of unbroken mindfulness? U. Pandita would not be happy. Got to try harder . . .
I am coming around with a more loving way to be with myself, viewing each moment of mindfulness, as reason to celebrate, realizing that mindfulness is relative, and exists only in relationship to non-mindfulness.