By virtue of being human, each one of us is on intimate terms with not being present. Because of this, our intimacy with this felt absence is a powerful ally. This is the terrain of mindfulness practice. Each time that we awaken to no longer being present to ourselves is, paradoxically, a moment of presence. if we are willing to see the whole of our lives as practice, our awareness of the moments that we are not present, coupled with our intention to awaken, brings us into the present.
Each time I used to catch myself, having being 'lost' in yet another train of thoughts, disappointed mind would jump in, quick with judgement. Oh! no, not again, where is my vow of unbroken mindfulness? U. Pandita would not be happy. Got to try harder . . .
I am coming around with a more loving way to be with myself, viewing each moment of mindfulness, as reason to celebrate, realizing that mindfulness is relative, and exists only in relationship to non-mindfulness.
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This resonates deeply with me. In my last post I had a quote from Pema Chodron (that was from her teacher Dzigar Kongtrul) that reminded us westerners to not focus on what we don't get right. He said he rejoices when he catches himself, because then he is present. And this builds confidence.
ReplyDeleteExactly, self-love. So simple, yet so difficult. So many ways the mind can trick us, isn't there? Patience is so good also.
ReplyDeleteWonderful Marguerite!! This is one of my biggest takeaways from the MBSR course I just finished. Every moment is an opportunity to be present and when we find ourselves lost in some train of thought...that is actually a moment of presence and awakening.
ReplyDeleteThis has allowed me to have some greater compassion and light-heartedness in my meditation practice. Each moment is a moment to re-awaken. So, if I continually go back to being 'lost' in thoughts...not a problem! Return to the breath. Just the realization that I'm doing this is mindfulness in and of itself.
Looks like you're having some of the same feelings as well, which is great!
Last night our group of interns had first MBSR sangha meeting with people registered for session. Twenty of them. What an awesome experience, being privileged to join in, . . . Each one of us sharing our own version of First Noble Truth, as we embark of this 21st century version of Buddha's path, together, for eight weeks.
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