One of the great privileges of being a psychotherapist involves having a peak into the minds of others. Hearing, seeing their inner suffering, I get to have a confirmation of what I have found in my own mind. The ordinary mind's got millions of ways to torture itself, and transform a perfectly fine moment into pure hell. I learn a lot from my clients. I learn to distrust thoughts even more. That which I think and feel, is a pure product of my imagination, a big cloud that can only be lifted through the suspension of thoughts. Everything else is but a succession of agitating formations, the results of underlying tendencies, long-time habits hard-wired into the brain from birth and beyond. Wanting, wanting other than present, or dreading the losing of what's here, a constant 'fuite en avant'. Living that way makes no sense.
Back to the purity of breath, and body, and sheer sensing . . .
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"wanting other than present, or dreading the losing of what's here": It occurs to me that I am often doing both at the same time: wanting other than present AND dreading the losing of what's here. Wanting things to change while, simultaneously, being afraid that they might. "Anxious anxiety". Oy.
ReplyDeleteI think we should be careful about this concept of mindfulness. These days I tend to think that the desire to get rid of what we think of as unpleasant mental stuff comes from exactly the same root desire that prompts us to try to get good mental stuff. Maybe we have to give up the desire to get or get rid of any of this and just observe what seems to go on in the mind without judging it in any way.Then there is no good or bad but just awareness. Needless to say all this kind of thing is much easier said than done!
ReplyDelete"I learn to distrust thoughts even more"! That is really what I need to hear today! Thanks :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd the subtle degrees, where one thing positive thing said, will end suffering temporarily. We are all are walking the tightrope of life, no different then the perceived other...just degrees of clarity.
ReplyDeleteanopensky, yes, and in both cases, clinging to some idea or experience of pleasure . . . we are at the mercy of our senses!
ReplyDeleteMichael, I see your point. I also think there is no need to complicate things. Heeding the Buddha's teachings, there is the observation of unwholesome thinking, and wanting to rid oneself of such formations is wholesome desire indeed . . .
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments.Of course we all have our own views about this. However in my own experiance I have found it impossible to "get rid" of "unwholesome thoughts". Therefore to simply observe them and try to let them go until the next time they come back seems to be the the best course. Quite probably we are both saying much the same thing only using different modes of expression.
DeleteAnd I agree with both!
Deletehttps://seedmind.wordpress.com/2012/08/10/who-we-are-is-everything-my-practice-3/
Between life, I was just contemplating this morning the sweetness of disenchantment regarding one's own mind :)
ReplyDeleteYes, Was Once, I am with you. Just different degrees of clarity. And all in the same human soup.
ReplyDelete