Last night, I had a dream that I could not remember how to get back to my apartment. The general location, the complex, I knew, but the exact building, the unit number, I could not figure out. No one could really help me. I started to panic.
Every day, I work with persons whose memory is failing them. I see what happens when one's mind can no longer be relied upon. The need to depend on others for the simplest tasks. The shrinking of life's possibilities. The carefully constructed self, taken away. And most cruel of all, the vanishing of awareness itself.
No wonder, I am so freaked out about the possibility of losing my mind . . . The deepest clinging, that which causes the greatest fear in myself, and many others, is the attachment to healthy mind. Of course, being aware of this is critical to being fully present for those I spend time with. Not tainting our moments together, with this most deep attachment.
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Strangely the dream you describe is very similar to a reccuring dream of mine. As Im a fairly old geezer it may have something to do with memory loss etc. But at a deeper level I think dreams like this indicate that we are are all really homeless in the end. Both the Buddha and Jesus urged us to leave father and mother and possessions behind and follow them into the homeless or holy life.Unless we can do this perhaps we are only really playing around with religion because it makes us feel better.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Marguerite ~ I also work as a caregiver - and am presently looking at my attachment to what my 'mind' presents to me as reality - your view here is very helpful.
ReplyDeleteThomas, I am glad. Dementia care is one of most profound mindfulness practice I know. I wish more people would understand this.
ReplyDeleteMichael, thank you for sharing your take on those dream images. Certainly, another truth about the life on the path.
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