Sunday, August 23, 2009

Bearing the Pain

The thrill of sitting in the presence of Blanche Hartman quickly vanished, once I settled in my seat. At first, I tried to ignore the pain. In my legs, and lower back. "I shall stay still no matter what" and try to focus on the breath. Aversion, I am feeling aversion towards the pain. Let me try to love it instead, breathe through the various parts. That worked before. Usually the pain becomes dull and I soon stop noticing. Not so this time. The pain became more intense, and my futile efforts at dealing with it caused more and more frustration. I longed for the bell to ring, and the time when I could stretch and give my body some relief. I am a creature of pleasure. I fundamentally do not like pain, physical, or otherwise. It is one thing to read about aversion and the need to retrain one's mind. It is another to live it in the moment, gracefully . . .

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