Monday, December 27, 2010

In Her Skin

Overheard, this conversation between one of the residents and her son, at assisted living community I visited recently:

Son: "Mom, so are you going to shower today?"
Resident: "No, I don't want to."
Son: "Why not? Are you embarrassed?"
Resident: "No, I am not embarrassed."
Son: "I meant are you embarrassed that somebody is with you while you shower?"
Resident: "Yes, I am, wouldn't you?"
Son: "Well, I understand, but they have rules here"
Resident stares at her son
Son: "Would it help if someone was in the room with you but they put a towel in front of you?"
Resident: "Yes, it would."

Not just relating to the person as a fall risk. Approaching her instead as a whole person whose intimacy is at risk of being violated.

Being in her skin, not just her shoes.

4 comments:

  1. It is so wonderful to hear of this perceptive and caring attitude expressed by this son and his searching of a solution to a problem, to give dignity where dignity is deserved, yet so often trod on.

    Thanks for reminding us that if we really listen and are open a creative solution can be within reach.

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  2. Yes, Carole. Being in the other person's skin, and seeing things from their eyes, their heart, their mind.

    Thank you so much for your comment.

    Now heading over to your blog. I can't wait to hear what's going on in your house :)

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  3. Beautiful Marguerite...this is so vital to remember...taking the time to see one another as whole human beings, no matter how broken we become by age or illness...respect is everything.

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  4. Respect, dignity . . . Treating the other person as if we were that person.

    I am amazed at the human ability to bear so much suffering, and humiliation, as I have seen in many eldercare homes.

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