Lurking behind every aversive thought,
every constriction in the body,
every annoyance in the heart,
I almost always find
the implicit expectation of something else,
another reality wished for
and not to be had in this moment.
And beneath it all, the firmly planted delusion
of life just as I would like it to be
with no pain, no unpleasantness, no bad surprises,
no old age, no sickness, no death, no earthquakes,
no downturn . . .
I sit and I wonder, when shall I become wise,
and get on with the full program?
When?
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When shall we become wise? I think we are becoming wise every moment. When shall we be wise? That's another question. And get on with the full program? I think this is the full program. These are times when I appreciate the sangha.
ReplyDeleteThanks David, for relating . . .
ReplyDeleteI am not sure we become wise every moment. Without the combined benefit of mindfulness and previously planted seeds of acquired wisdom, I don't see how the experience of this moment can be of any help.
perhaps we are processing towards wisdom? (some days) like a long line of monks processing out of the meditation hall, each of our thoughts taking us in a certain direction (toward wisdom or away), the little human dance of practice.
ReplyDeleteI think whatever the moment, we find our ways into them because that's where we're led. I've had trouble steering clear of all the expectations as well. But it comforts me to know it's all part of the process.
ReplyDeleteThanks Carole for the image of the monks inching their way out of (or into?) the meditation hall. Lovely . . .
ReplyDeleteI guess what I am getting at is the deeply ingrained nature of this fundamental delusion of ours. That life is other than what it really is.
Silver Cord, in my experience there is also a volitional aspect. That is where the intention, effort, dedication to practice come in. Without those qualities, we leave ourselves open to the damages of mindlessness.
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