Following up on yesterday's resolution, I went to Saint-Sulpice to meditate. Prad came with me. We picked seats in the back row of one of the side chapels where it was most quiet. And bowed to each other, and started to sit, eyes closed in the sticky warmth.
For a second, I wondered, did I know how to do this, still? That's how disconnected I felt. Staying with the feeling, and the buzzing energy, I found my way in, back to myself, very quickly though. All of it. Breath, sensations in the body, thoughts, emotions, hearing, smelling, touching, all the contact experiences between senses and the outside, . . . Soon, the incense, the steps and the whispers from tourists started to recede. There was no longer emotions, pleasant or unpleasant, nor thoughts. I had found my center, again. Right at the edge of the deep water well, where breath becomes so subtle and sweet. And was reminded of time passing, by the sound of Christian hymns coming afar, from the main altar, and signaling the start of the seven o'clock mass. Opened my eyes, and turned towards Prad, touching his right arm, softly.
Out of the church, we walked, feeling anew.
Sitting meditation. Such a gift to self. I just wonder about the people who do not meditate, and how they must feel. I think once one has tasted from the pure water of stillness, it is almost impossible to not want it again.