Being real is one value I have strived hard to impart to my daughters. While I have succeeded, it was not always easy bearing the consequences of two very authentic teenagers . . . Still, I am glad. I did not want them to pay the price I did for years lived out of a 'false self'. Better be true and bitchy sometimes, than estranged from one's reality. It took me a very long time to retrieve the ability to be completely myself, owning the good, the bad, the pretty and the ugly.
I get taken aback whenever people comment on my authenticity both here in this blog, and also out in my offline life. As if being honest is out of the ordinary . . . I see it otherwise and ask, what is the point of being untrue to oneself, and pretending? How can one relate out of a facade? How can one have a heart to heart connection when one's heart is hidden by a camouflage of automatic behaviors? How can one live this moment, tied by concepts of how one should be instead?
It is my sense that engaging on the Dharma path requires no less than complete transparency, to one self, and - most of the times - to others. Recognizing what is without any judgment, and relating to others in complete honesty is a great gift indeed. The trick lies in having the wisdom to also practice right speech while communicating the truth, asking oneself the following questions:
is it kind?
is it useful?
is it timely?
does it create concord?
May you be true to yourself, and others. May you be wise. May you be kind.