I love the intimacy of morning rituals, when the bathroom becomes a sanctuary, the perfect place for meditation in slow motion. Watching sensations in the body, palpitations of the heart, and thoughts passing through the mind . . . This morning, there was gratitude for the pleasure of warm cloth against my face, and the surroundings of kind silence. A happy moment, on the surface.
Right below, familiar contraction in the stomach asked to be investigated. Why such unpleasantness? I stood, listening and came across a bunch of thoughts. That there was something basically wrong with my life, as it is. That a better future was to be hoped for. That in order for me to be truly happy, such and such conditions would have to be fulfilled first. I let my mind go wild and imagine what it would be like if I had all my wishes, down to the most minute details. I could taste the sweetness, the satisfaction of changes 'for the better', and something else also.
Not all would be well in that new scenario, I could see it. There would be suffering, difficulties, unpleasantness, coming along for the ride. My fantasies came crashing, one by one, like big bubbles bursting against a hard cement wall. Left on its own, this is what the deluded mind does. It leads one to operate under false beliefs, and false assumptions. As here, dismissing the present moment in favor of a utopic future.
Removing the veil of delusions . . .