Pain in the right shoulder threatened my ability to work on the computer. Something had to be done, and I knew where to turn. Estelle, my favorite masseuse had saved me before. She could do it again.
She did, and also told me the plain truth.
Deep inside, she had found a tiny tendon, as taut as a guitar string. "In my entire career, I have never worked on such tight shoulders!" I told her I was under stress, lots of it.
I went home and thought about all the unpleasantness that has come my way recently. And how I had deluded myself into thinking that I had met it completely.
I decided to sit and investigate the truth. Relaxing the whole body, from the feet all the way up to the head, I quickly found myself enveloped by a big grey cloud. Yes, there was much to not like, and there was no mistaking the intensity of my aversion. To resist the aversion of the aversion . . . I was to stay in the cloud and feel every bit of it. This took courage.
Unpleasant vedana. Ruth said to be very aware, or else the unpleasantness gets worse . . .