In the YMCA locker room, the sight of a little Chinese girl cutely combing the hair of her younger sister, then the two of them hugging. That's all it took to take me to a sorrowful state.
Mind flashing back to happy, earlier times with my two daughters when they were that age. The depth of our bond back then, and my identity as a mother.
Mind playing tricks on the heart, from wanting to hold on to the past. I saw it, just as it was happening, and recognized the self-made suffering.
Mind over mind, protecting the purity of the present moment.
When is the last time when you had such a moment of insight, and you did not let your mind go down the path of more suffering?
Posts
I family member recently passed away from a long painful death. I felt immediate relief to know that she is closer to us now more than ever. However I could not help remembering the past and suffering from not being able to live it again. Now I see it too; so much suffering in my life from clinging to a moment instead of living the new moments life offers me. Being present to "protect the purity of the present" is all we must live for.
ReplyDeleteGreater access to insight, step by step.
ReplyDeletenice:)
Yesterday, over dinner with friends I opened the conversation up to comment on how much I have changed with meditation, since one friend has known me for quite some time. He detailed my excuse in the past, and I felt a defensive feeling arise inside. I noted it and smiled at the pitiful excuse I made back then, and laughed. Put the fire out on that "I" rising. That is all it is...an ego burp.
ReplyDeleteThis morning, I heard "Moonlight Sonata" on the radio. My dad didn't listen to music much, but that was his favourite piece. My mother didn't play the piano very much, but I remember her playing that piece for him often. It was nice to just listen to the music and be present with a part of their relationship I had forgotten about.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous one, yes, watching for the mind's inclination to cultivate sorrow . . . which does not mean repressing either!
ReplyDeletePooja, thank you for gift of your sympathetic joy.
ReplyDeleteMuch metta.
Was Once, 'ego burp', I love that! Thank you.
ReplyDeleteDavid, love how you were able to dwell in the loving memory! Music is so powerful isn't it?
ReplyDelete