Half-way through sitting, I hit a hard patch, made up of impatience, hate, frustration . . . about the persistent impatient, hateful, frustrated one inside. Kind of being hit with a double whammy of suffering. James Baraz's words from yesterday, came whispering, "Have a relaxed, interested, kind attitude towards yourself". I tried, using each breath, as resting place. Wiping the board of thoughts clean, over and over. And renouncing (almost) all velleities of ridding myself of 'it'. Most useful though, was the image of mother holding her child.
As a mom, I had plenty of opportunities to practice over the years, learning to survive* my children's hate, first when they were toddlers, and later during their rebellious teenage years. This is what I have to do, during this phase of my journey on the path. Hold myself, completely, steadily, regardless. Nobody else can do it for me.
*D.W. Winnicott's word