Friday, October 9, 2009

Dream About Death and Love

Last night's volunteer training session at Hospice of the Valley, impressed me more than I realized. Sitting, this morning, I encountered, fear, lots of it. Breath, no match for the immensity of feeling. Thoughts, coming and going, about loved ones, and still vivid dream from the night:
A woman just found out her husband has a brain tumor. Later, she seizes while swimming in the pool, and a small tumor is also found in her brain. Husband comes and picks her up in his car. He jokes that it is Saturday night, and they have a date.
Exploring the fear, in between breaths. Fear giving way to clinging sensation. Grasping for what cannot be held. Eternal life, without death, without loss. I become aware of my delusions, and clash between what I wish for, and reality of impermanence.

Wisdom of the dream. There is only now, and it is to be lived in love.

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