Friday, December 18, 2009

Scared Buddha, Calm Buddha

This morning, fear was back again. This time, however, I had Gil's words, to guide me. "Be a scared Buddha" . . . And so I was, scared Buddha, amidst passing interferences, from  insisting, controlling mind. Breath, as my friend, bringing awareness back to reality of now, over and over. Fear. Fear. Fear . . . Until all of a sudden, towards the end of sitting, no fear. Only breath, and deep calmness.

The mind thinks it needs to work harder than it needs to. I am realizing more and more, the power of simply being present to what is. Interpretation is best left to psychotherapy, and even there, not always.


  1. Yes! Just offer yourself to the biggest monster - put your head right into his mouth!

  2. When fear appears for me and I get that feeling in the bottom of my stomach that makes me want to run, I ask myself... "What is it that you are expecting?" And then I sit and explore that sensation... hunt it... and then if possible see if I can breath enough into the moment to thaw it a little.

    In closing, I once heard a friend say that FEAR was (F)alse (E)vidence (A)ppearing (R)eal. It was only after he said that, that I realized I was fighting ghosts... projections of mind and somehow a feeling of being inadequate in the situation. Once confidence within myself arose, my fears naturally dissolved.

    Unifying Heart and Mind,


  3. Thank you Seiho. That is wise advice. I find there are many kinds of fear. 'Real' fear, anticipatory fear, primal, existential fear . . . The latter one is what I have been struggling with lately. Of course, like any other phenomenon, more opportunity for practice. :)