Sitting, by lanai, eyes closed, I feel breeze's soft caress on my face. I could have sat this morning, but lazy mind thought otherwise. Now is after lunch, and sleepiness threatens to take over. Sleepy, sleepy . . . I keep repeating, in between faint breaths. Awareness does not have usual sharp quality. Craving being more awake. Noticing craving. Thought, should I even bother? What's the point of sitting, and being sleepy? No, to be with what is, regardless. Sleepiness, and dullness, that's what I get today. And breath. Thought of earlier readings, about forest monks being asked to sit through sleepiness. Thought gives me courage to continue sitting, and clarity. Dullness, and clarity, co-existing. Breath. Sleepy. Thought of dried mangoes. Wondering when Whole Foods will call, so I can go pick up newly arrived batch. Craving. I am stomach. Breath. Sleepy . . . Bell rings.
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Please eat meal when the stomach becomes empty, and sleep when it is please sleepy. I think that to sleepy natural because it is a sound body. I think that I can do nothing but keep sleepily sitting when feeling that it is sleepy Zen meditation . Because it is sleepy at the moment without the lie spuriousness. The state of the mind is a dream and is like the phantom. I think that not being caught is important. Please forgive my poor English.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your loving kindness, and your beautiful English! Now fully awake, and back home . . . Deep bow, across the Pacific. Marguerite
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